all i want

All I want is to be loved. Omg, it has been half a decade and I've been saying this time and again. Everything has changed, except for this unquenchable thirst. 

I want eyes that look into mine with such intensity and warmth. I want arms that not just carass my body, but my whole soul. I want my tears to be wiped by a hand that isn't mine. 

I close my eyes, and I see this vision of myself, curled into a ball, in a void of endless darkness. I hear whispers that turn into screams whenever I try to sleep. I can feel the anxiety dance from my head down to my toes. 

I write pages and pages, I talk endlessly, only to be misunderstood in the harshest way possible. I still dream of the day when someone just knows that I'm uncomfortable by taking a single look at me. I want a hand squeezing mine whenever my legs shake out of restlessness. I want to be heard, seen and felt. I want to be met. 

I'm tired of explaining. I'm tired of giving. I'm tired of surviving. A comforting voice, a hand through my hair, forhead kisses now and then. I want to be held. I want to be treasured. Im tired of being taken for granted. Im tired of waiting for this day to come. 

I want to go to bed everyday thinking I'm loved the way I have always wanted. I want to wake up to lovey-dovey messages. I really want to be valued. Respected. Considered in every decision. I want to be someone's priority. I want to be able to voice out my needs without feeling like I'm a burden. I want to be with someone without feeling like I'm walking on eggshells. 

In other words, i just want to be loved so tenderly.